Preparing Your Toddler For A New Sibling
8th July 2010 by Babies No CommentsNo matter how many children you already have, when a new baby enters the family, everyone is shaken up. Here are some tips to help you make the experience as positive for everyone as possible.
1. Timing is important. Choosing when to tell other family members about a pregnancy depends a great deal on each person’s age. Your two year old will not understand what you are saying if you don’t look pregnant. Nine months is almost half his lifetime and way too long to be told he is going to have a new sibling. Wait until you are about five months along. At that point he can see where the baby is, and it gives him enough time to digest the news.
2. Be inclusive. It’s important to include your children in your pregnancy. Let them feel your belly, especially if they can feel the baby kick. That will help them understand that a real person is about to be born. When you begin to set up the nursery or buy things for the baby, let your children be involved. They can help you choose colors for the nursery, brainstorm names, and pick out bottles and rattles. It’s important that they feel part of the process.
3. Find ways to make your other kids feel important. Choose times to spend with each child individually before the baby arrives, to let each one know he is special. Be sure the older sibling understands how much you will rely on his help when the baby is born. The little baby will need to learn so much from his big brother and you know that he will be a caring, loving older brother.
4. Ask permission to take your children’s things. For example, if you plan to move your three year into a bed so the baby can have his crib, be careful about how you do that. Begin by telling your toddler that he is big enough now that he can get a big boy bed of his own. Let him help you choose special sheets, pillows, and blankets so that he feels ownership of his new bed. Be sure he is in the bed at least a month before the baby arrives. Then, you can ask him if the new baby can sleep in his old crib since he is a big boy now and won’t need it anymore. Make him feel special to be able to share something so important with his new sibling.
5. Be sure to give your other children plenty of attention after the baby is born. The focus will naturally be on the new arrival, so it’s even more important for you to let the siblings know how much you appreciate their help now. Visitors may come with gifts for the new baby and the other kids. If they only bring something for the baby, it’s often a good idea to have a small stash of things at hand. Once the company leaves, you can give your other kids a puzzle, coloring book, or similar item as a thanks you for being such a great big brother. Find time, maybe when the baby is sleeping, to have quality time with your other children.
6. Be sure to encourage all of your kids to enjoy and appreciate one another. The more your family grows, the more important it will be that they all get along and truly love one another. Sibling rivalry will happen, but encourage the kids to work as a team, instead of feeling like they must complete for your time and attention.
Congratulations on your new addition! When the baby comes you will be exhausted and there will be chaos for a while. The more you can prepare, the better off everyone in the family will be.
Terri Akman is a freelance writer and preschool teacher. Get more tips on preschool development at her website at http://www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com
