Avoid Tantrums by Providing Alternatives
8th December 2009 by Babies No CommentsMost parents have encountered this situation at one time or another. Your child is playing with something they shouldn’t be playing with, or doing something that is potentially dangerous and when you try to stop them they throw a screaming tantrum.
How parents deal with these situations is one of the big questions of parenting. Children will develop social competence and self confidence if they are provided with tolerance and praise for their positive actions. But parents must remain in charge.
The typical toddler will, on average, face up to 20 restrictions on their activities every hour. Nione of us would like to be told what to do or not to do every three minutes?
Parents often need to assert control in order to prevent children from harming themselves or one another when they are only doing what comes naturally. Playing with knives, bashing brothers or sisters with toys and fighting are all examples of how children will test their boundaries to investigate the world in which they live.
Providing a child with interesting alternatives can be a great way to defuse a potentially explosive situation and teach them that there are other things they can do or play with. You may, for example, sway the metal knife for a safe spoon or maybe a plastic knife. Or let them find out how much it can hurt to be poked in the eye.
Using alternatives can be a great way to effectively avoid tantrums, but they don’t always work. Its important to first acknowledge what the child is trying to do before suggesting and introducing an alternative. Engage the child with the alternative by making it appear more attractive than whatever it was the child was doing before.
There will be plenty of occasions when you will not be in a position or able to offer alternatives and these will serve to educate your child that the world has its limits. Providing yourr children with appealing alternatives to dangerous or harmful behavior can be a great way to develop a positive relationship and teach them that other options often exist.
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I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.
